Men: Let’s Get Out of Our Own Way
As men, we carry a lot on our shoulders. We’re expected to provide, protect, lead, and look like we have it all figured out. Sound familiar? Somewhere along the way, though, many of us find ourselves stuck. We want more out of life, but we’re not actually moving toward it.
And if we’re honest, it’s not because of anyone else — not the economy, not our situation. It’s because of us. We need to stop playing the victim card and blaming our circumstances. Like my wife always says when we’re trying to go somewhere new, “We wouldn’t be late if you would have just stopped to ask for directions.”
Roadblock 1: Pride
Pride is usually the first roadblock. Pride tells us we should already know the answers — that real men don’t ask for directions and certainly don’t ask for help. There’s a stigma that asking for help is a sign of weakness and a strike against our manhood. That if we just push harder, we can figure it out on our own.
But faith tells a different story. God never asked us to carry the load by ourselves. Scripture says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Pride keeps us from surrendering to Him, but humility opens the door for His strength to step in where ours runs out.
Remember, when we ask God for help, He doesn’t always answer the way we expect or directly. Often, He places someone in our path who can help us. It’s important that after we ask Him for help, we watch and listen for His answer — things won’t just mysteriously get better on their own.
Roadblock 2: Shame
Then comes shame. Shame reminds us of the times we’ve failed, the opportunities we missed, the people we let down, and the mistakes we’d rather bury. Shame convinces us we’re not good enough or that maybe our best years have already passed us by.
That burden is heavy. It weighs us down until we can’t breathe, and eventually, we stop moving forward.
But faith flips the script. Shame says we’re disqualified; God says we’re forgiven. Shame says our past defines us; God says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Grace breaks the chains of shame because our worth doesn’t come from what we’ve done, but from what Christ has already done for us.
The Spiral
Caught between pride and shame, we stall. We stop pursuing the very dreams God placed in our hearts. We lose faith that we can achieve them. We start to spiral.
And yet, Scripture reminds us of God’s promise:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and a future.”
— Jeremiah 29:11
Every man I know wants his life to matter. We want to build something lasting, to live with purpose, to leave a legacy. But none of that happens if we stay stuck inside ourselves.
Overcoming Pride and Shame
I was talking to a friend the other day, and he said something that really struck me:
“We are too old to let our pride stop us from achieving what we’re chasing in life. There’s no room for shame when you’re trying to do the best for your family.”
That’s the truth. Neither pride nor shame helps us. Both are chains keeping us from the men God has called us to be.
Getting out of our own way means breaking free from both. It means choosing humility over pride, admitting we don’t have all the answers, and trusting God to guide us.
As Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.”
And it means choosing hope over shame, knowing our past doesn’t disqualify us from a better future. Paul admitted his weakness but declared,
“My grace is sufficient for you,
for My power is made perfect in weakness,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Guys, I get it. It’s your job to take care of the family. Asking for help feels like admitting failure. It feels like weakness… like turning in your man card.
But here’s the truth: asking for help, whether from God or from trusted people He’s placed in our lives, is not weakness… it’s strength! We shouldn’t suffer quietly because we’re too ashamed to admit we messed up or don’t have it all figured out.
Man up and ask for help so you can move forward. The bravest thing a man can do is get out of his own way, fall on his knees, and trust God to lead the way.
Want coaching?
Every man reaches a crossroads, stay where you are, or step into who you were made to be. Don’t let pride or shame hold you back any longer. Let’s take that next step together. Schedule a coaching session and start moving forward with purpose. Schedule a free financial coaching session here.
TJ is a financial coach that helps couples who earn good money but feel like they have nothing to show for it. They’re unsure about their financial situation and frustrated that they aren’t where they should be. He provides a path forward and helps them believe in themselves so they can get unstuck, gain confidence, take control and change their financial future.
Let’s chat—book a free call:
About the Author
TJ Recinella (Owner/ Founder of TJR Financial Coaching)
TJ helps couples who earn good money but feel like they have nothing to show for it. They’re unsure about their financial situation and frustrated that they aren’t where they should be. He provides a path to help them get unstuck, gain confidence, and change the financial future of their families.
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